She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
