I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
