You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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