Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think my moral compass just broke
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
