This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
