Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize