she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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