I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
