This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
