Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
