he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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