I want to have your abortion
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
