What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We left an ass print on the piano.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
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Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
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I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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