Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you win again, gameday.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
