what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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