I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
