She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
