Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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