no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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