i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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