having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
