New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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