its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
