thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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