Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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