Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
