my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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