Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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