I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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