Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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