Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
