Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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