I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
