I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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