Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize