"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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