i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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