Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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