I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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