im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
