eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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