READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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