wat bout pragnant strippers??
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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