Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
