whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize