Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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