I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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