Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
