Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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