are you still at the devil's house?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
3 2 1 whiskey
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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