...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Come on in and take your pants off
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