I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
