i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
