I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
