we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
