Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
