The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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