If that was your dad, he is hot
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
